Photography via Susie Cakes Bakery Instagram
I recently turned 20 and I'm honestly not too happy about it. Birthdays are so weird. A superficial holiday that's supposed celebrate. . . a person's life? The older I've gotten the more my birthday becomes a day of reflection rather than celebration. Thinking back on all the things I've accomplished (or haven't accomplished) made me very anxious, emotional, and overwhelmingly sad.
I remember as a kid I couldn’t wait for my birthday. I enjoyed the attention and the love I felt from friends and family, as if they were genuinely excited to celebrate my life. Like they were happy I was around. Maybe I’m not the same friend I was a few years ago. Maybe I’ve become more distant, or cold, or selfish, and haven’t been there for my friends in a way that matters. Or maybe that’s just life. Maybe as you get older the world stops caring. Your age stops being the yardstick that measures milestones and accomplishments, and it simply becomes a number.
I was probably expecting too much, but the birthday messages I received gave me the feeling that people only wished me happy birthday out of obligation. However, the more thought out messages from some of my closest friends, oddly enough, made me burst into tears. It’s as if I wanted to feel that love from people so badly, but when it was given to me I couldn't process it into something happy.
I'm not sure if this is a common feeling among young people, but the stress of being another year older and seeing how fast this life is going by gives me so much anxiety. Everyone tells me that your 20s are supposed to be the best years of you life because you have time to travel the world, be in love, make mistakes, start your career, find yourself, and so on. However, the idea of trying to cram in all these life experiences in the next ten years is so overwhelming. I honestly don't know how to deal with the idea of growing older, and I fear I'm going to be one of those people who's life passes them by because they're too caught up worrying about the future.
Leave a comment below on how you deal with aging because God knows I need some advice!